there is something very humbling about being so far out of your comfort zone; about being the one who doesn’t look like the rest, having all the eyes on you. it is extremely unsettling at first glance when the species that is suppose to be all the same are worlds apart; when you feel as though you relate more to the street dogs than to the people around you. I am such a firm believer that every living thing is connected and that us human beings are one in the same, but how confused am I when I am in a state of being where the most complicated communicating I’m doing is coming from google translate and google images; and the extent of that goes no further than “what is the name of this fruit in English”?
I am still struggling with being in Thailand and feeling so extremely disconnected. I have sat through entire meals and car rides and have not said one word. I have been sitting on the couch and the only word that I recognize in conversation is my thai nickname, which means they are talking about me. The first thing thing that most thai people do when they see me is touch my skin and my hair, as they feel that dark skin and lighter hair is not a common combination and that I am different.
But, that being said, there is still a way of communication that has proved victorious in almost every interaction I’ve had, especially with my 25 person host family. The best way we communicate is through noises and laughter and sounds. Most of the communication I have with my little brother and sister and little cousin, Peace, is giggling. Not really laughing at anything, but laughing with each other to gain some kind of connection. And if it’s not giggling it is smiling when we eat the same food that we both find delicious, or it is looking at the many types of insects and flowers and animals that are scattered around. And, in those moments all of the loneliness seems to go away.
its been a rollercoaster to say the least. From being so happy with everyone to feeling so isolated. A new place is hard for someone who is so used to the ordinary. Open mindedness is going to be my strength here, it is going to be my key and my saving grace. It is going to get me through the isolation and bring me closer to the people that surround me. I am excited and eager to see where the rest of my time here will go, and how my soul will be able to grow and connect with the ones already present here. 
Take it easy~
aria
For the Love of Living 
Dearest granddaughter,
I love your blog! I can hear your voice resonating through your written word. The definition of “resonate” is . . . to produce or be filled with a deep, full reverberating sound. I can tell that the humility and hopefulness you feel are very deep and full. How beautifully you have put these feelings into words. Thank you for being so open with your “blog” family and friends. You’re right – it’s your openness that will carry you through the feelings of isolation and into the embrace of the new world you crave to see.You are never isolated, however, from us back home who hang on your every word. Here’s a big hug . . . Love, Gramma
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